Bridget Jones – a 32-year-old British single woman who, like many 32-year old British single women, is unhappy with her weight, job, relationsip status, and tends to feel like she fumbles her way through her life unable to keep up with the pace of seemingly-perfect professionals around her. Usually ends the night drunk or crying into a tub of ice cream. Characterised by her dry humour.
Betty Suarez – a 22 year old Mexican American woman from Queens, New York, with a lack of fashion sense but a plucky, happy-go-lucky attitude and determination to pursue her dreams – but in the right way, rather than at anyones expense. Ends up being the but of most people’s jokes, and she is aware.
These two characters come from two very different stories, but to me they have both been recent sources of huge inspiration and insight. They both have a zest for life and the self belief and energy to reinvent themselves and be who they want to be – and, particularly in Jones’ case, are open to that ‘ideal’ version of themselves maybe not turning out exactly as they picture.
Having been discharged from my eleventh admission, kicked out of university, and recieved lots of new opportunities (including new university offers), but als being very, very ill still, I believe I am beginning to enter a new era of my life, one which I am nicknaming ‘My Bridget Jones’ era. With a new notebook in my hand, I am going to breakdown my overall life goals and write down actionable steps for the next few weeks, months, and then, most importantly, some must-dos for by the time I am 28. I am giving myself two years (well, two yeas and a few months) before I will be in ‘Saff 2.0 phase’.
I’ve begun to realise I don’t need to pursue ‘normal’. I don’t necessarily need to pursue a fulltime career – I have so many interests and passions and maybe an alternative lifestlye suits me and is where I’m meant to be. It doesn’t make me any less valid or ‘real’ or part of this world, or of any less worth. I think previously, since I began to understand autism and what it means to me, I have believed I need to do both – to somehow juggle my passions for art, advocacy and research with traditional careers, and that I need a partner. It’s been a stressful chaotic constant frenzy of not being able to think, and of feeling worthless, and of feeling like I’m drowning. But actually I have so much in this world I can do, and I don’t need to prove anything.
I’m spending the rest of 2024 pursuing research work opportunities that have opened up to me, and focusing on recovery, and on self development. I want to really explore and formalise the social change I want to make in this world, and I want to have time to work on my creative individual projects and skills.
Then – who knows? I believe my masters will, when the time comes, be a labour of love and equip me with important skills, so at some point, I hope to return to it, but new opportunities may come for me in advocacy and campaigning, in research, or in my creative stuff relating to these. And I’m also enjoying just being ME and being independent, and as I gain weight, I think I’ll be able to let my personality SHINE once more, and do the things I want to do like travel, and go to more gigs, and just being more silly and stupid – and then if relationships and that side of things develop, that’s great too.
(Recently I updated my LinkedIn and advocacy site as part of all this)
I encourage you to get a goal book yourself. If you’ve not yet had your ‘Bridget Jones’ era, go watch the film (or even consider a binge of the Ugly Betty series) – and take your future into your hands. You have the power to do anything, to be anyone you want.
Note: one thing I like about Bridget is that her goal list is a little ambitious, but as her story unfolds, she finds she does achieve it all, in unexpected ways. And that’s cool. You’ve got to be open to things being different, but equally great.