I like to try and set goals for myself, to help me feel like I’m not just letting life pass me by. It’s a new month – so I think it’s time for some new goals!
Goals for October:
- To catch up with my reading. I adore reading – I love learning things, and it’s also an escape for me. One of my New Years resolutions was to read more, and I set an aim of 52 books, which I was managing to keep on track for. Recently, however, my weight and eating has left me without the concentration to read, but I’ve been feeling better now I’m following the plans set by my team, and so I hope to do a bit of reading!
- To work with my mental health team and gain some weight; to really begin recovery. This is probably the biggest of all these goals. After a period of fast weight loss when not coping at university, following my last inpatient admission (2019), I have been struggling to recover and ‘get healthy’. Over lockdown I have tried and tried to gain weight, but my numerous ARFID difficulties have, despite my efforts, only resulted in a drawn-out deterioration. In the last 5 weeks or so, I have finally re-engaged with services, who are actually, for the first time ever, supporting me in the community. We have spent just over a month building some good foundations, but have not yet restored any significant weight. I am desperate to finally get physically better, so I am going to continue working hard (even if it means being patient and not trying to rush) with my team. As well as weight gain, I am hopeful we will help me work on better eating habits, like eating at appropriate times, and I think it will be very important at this point to come up with a more definite list of autism-safe foods.
- To do a lot of blogging and autism-related activities. Yes! I want to work on this blog, and my autism-and-mental-health-advocacy one, a lot more, because I’m aware they may both feel very bare at this stage! I also always try to devote some of my time to volunteering, whether that is blogging, or delivering webinars, or taking part in research trials and advisory groups! I think I will need to try to make sure I don’t overstretch myself with these, which is something I tend to do.
- To tackle my list of ‘crafts to make as gifts for Christmas’. Because I am trying to be more frugal this year, I have decided to save money by hand making a lot of gifts. I made a list of these, and to avoid rushing when it gets nearer to the ‘big day’, I want to make a start! I find crafting a lot less stressful than doing art, as it seems to require less concentration, and I worry less about it being perfect, or ‘proving’ myself. However, it still requires energy to physically do, so this will be partly dependent on how recovery goes.
Optional goals:
- To make a couple of science themed research posters. One of my hobbies is researching things and making posters about what I’ve learnt. Research is something I just can’t do when I’m not eating enough to focus, and I really want to get back into it!
- To get back to doing some traditional art and creative writing. Again, this is something I can’t do without eating enough to have the energy for concentrating and focusing, and is something I can also just be too anxious to do, because I can feel angry and upset if I feel it’s not ‘good enough’. But I do really miss it, so I would like to try and do some (recovery depending!).
What are your goals for the month? I also will be properly beginning a lot of the positions I have taken up, such as volunteering with the National Autistic Society, and working with the British Youth Council’s Future Voices Group!